Tuesday, November 1st, 2011...1:37 am

To my unborn son

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It is difficult for me to say these things. I won’t lie, because one day you would know if I had. I wish that you were human. I wish that your only other parent was Joseph. But these decisions were not ones that I could make, and I will love you just as much all the same.

There is still much of humanity in you. I don’t know how much, but it will always be a part of you. Just as you will be unable to escape your Oankali genes, you will be unable to deny your human ones. Treasure them. There are few enough of us left, and I want you to continue our legacy, to remember your ancestors and the world that they came from, different as it is from the one I will bring you into. Honor that, and remember it.

The Oankali have much to teach you, too, and you will be very like them. Learn to accept differences. This is something that I suspect you will be good at, with the genes that you have; better than any human could be. It is a gift. Our worlds cannot be kept apart anymore. You, my son, will be proof of that. You are different, the first of your kind—a male construct, born to me, born to a human. You will be resented for not being entirely human, and you will be hated for being male when others have not had male children. But always remember that you are more than an experiment. You are my son. You are Joseph’s son, and Dichaan’s, and Ahajas’. Nikanj’s son, as well.

No matter what others, humans, may say to you or think about you, remember that their opinions do not matter. Never let hatred and judgment cloud you.  It has been a part of my life, but I am human. And you are not. In the face of this unavoidable fact, I want only the best for you. If you can be better than what I was made to be, then do. Go. Shine. Be the best that you can. Be loving and caring, be understanding and innovative, be empathetic and wise. And know that no matter what feelings might conflict me, no matter what resentments and fear might hold me back, I do love you. You are my son and you will always be my son.

I wish that you could meet your father—Joseph. He was a kind man, and although he was thoroughly human and would have wished to preserve humanity, I know, too, that he would be proud of you, no matter what you become, or who you become. I know that he will always be with you, as will I.

 

With love, your mother.



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